RANSVESTIA

a bunch of dirty nouveau-riche. I mean, the St. Louis Veiled Prophet's Ball it wasn't — but it usually made a lot more money. And usually had a lot more interesting people. This year was something special however, for there was a real live Prince in attendance reputedly he was hunting for a Queen-Consort (due to a technicality he couldn't be crowned King of his country until he was married) to take back home. And there isn't an American mother worthy of her analyst who wouldn't love to have a queen for a daughter, even if this is the twentieth century and the coun- try is relatively small and the monarchy is purely ornamental and hon- orary. Look at all the attention that Kelley girl got and what's-her- name that got married to that little guy from up in the Himalayan Mountains. So

Madame, my step-mother, had sprayed the twins, wrapped them in yards (and yards and yards) of apricot and mauve satin and hauled them off to the Ball. What the hell, even a long shot wins once in a while. I wanted to laugh out loud but I didn't. Things weren't going very well for me at the moment. I suppose I felt a certain amount of resentment to- wards these people. I couldn't help the feeling that they were invaders into what essentially was my home nor a certain feeling of being dis- possessed.

Back to the back yard, where our hero stands open-mouthed, hold- ing a hose in one hand and a wire brush in the other, while his uninvited guest elegantly sits down and crosses his legs. One thing you have to say about Wendell is that he's colorful: yellow silk pants?

"I thought you didn't like girls in pants," I said.

"Oh," giggled Wendell, “how am I supposed to take that? As a com- pliment, I hope? But knowing you, you meant it the other way. They're Puccis, dear.”

"Well, you ought to give them back to him, then."

"That was pretty weak. And you're evading the subject, aren't you?” He shot back, patting his golden pompadour.

"What were we talking about?" I asked innocently (I hoped).

"We were talking about Cinderella going to the Ball."